do herpes really smell.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I know her cup size but not her name....
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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