I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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