Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
