erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
