its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
