im holly from the hills drunk
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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