woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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