Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
he was CRYING into my vagina
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
