Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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