I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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