Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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