id be glad to
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
