I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
