it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
