I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
