Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
