Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
