let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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