ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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