i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize