I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
