I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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