DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
