It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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