Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
