How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
