i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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