weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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