508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize