You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Its about making memories worth repressing
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
