Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
