please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
