Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
