I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
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