that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
