you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I need moral support for this bender
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
