How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
