Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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