i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
