we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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