Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Randomize
