Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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