It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
