Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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