I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
