Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
