U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
