Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I don't deserve a penis
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
