you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
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