Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
