im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
sex in a hospital.. check
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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