You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
