i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
