Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Randomize
