The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
