my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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