well most of my day revolves around power hour
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
