Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize