2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
