A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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