brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
