he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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