you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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