you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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