Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
