So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
